I didn’t anticipate having the second entry in this section go up so quickly, but the stork forced my hand.
What can be said about Snooki that hasn’t already been said? Anyone with a partially functional brain can find something about her to make fun of.
Even in recent memory, I remember those headlines about her being 98lbs and sitting there saying to myself: What the hell was her thought process there?
“So after spending some time thinking about my life, I’ve come to a few realizations. I come across like an idiot, I know shit about shit, I embarrass myself every time I open my mouth in public, and I have a sizable list of bad habits. Know what? I am not concerned enough about my appearance.
Why don’t I go on a diet for no reason at all? Say, I might even get more media attention! Clearly that’s something I need more of in my life to become a more well rounded person!” I’m sure it made sense to her though.
Truth be told we should probably be happy for her- if one of her life goals was indeed becoming a mother, she has it now. If not, accidents happen to people, smart or dumb. Worthy of mention is the fact that she managed to make it out of her teen years without having gotten to this milestone. If she really is as dopey as she appears on TV (Which I concede, could very well be an act she’s putting on), it’s practically a miracle that she’s made it out of the teens without being on that Teen Mom show.
In her future: Apparently 50% of relationships end up in divorce these days, so she has a 50/50 chance of a tell all book and renewed relevance in the media a few years down the line. Given the fact that the guy she’s dating is by some’s account- a wacko? Those odds may be better than 50-50.
If a divorce happens, she probably has a “reality” dating show in her future too. Can you picture it? MTV and VH1 executives already seeing dollar signs and duking it out over rights to the show.
Let me trademark the name now. “Jersey Love”. Watch as they rehash the old jersey shore times by having dating shows for all of them, one by one.
(Knowing me, they’ve probably had one for a jersey shore person already, and due to my disconnect from most of pop culture I didn’t know about it.)
Whether her marriage works or not, she may have a few seasons of “Jersey Mom” lined up. Again, cameos from the other characters. Maybe with that Kate Goselin lady off TV, Snooki can fill the void for those inclined to occupy their time with shows like that?
Imagine we were her classmates or her friends: Would we be happy for Snooki? Probably. Barring tragedy she’ll likely be a mother now. This likely sets her up to be making money again, regardless of how the marriage goes. As of this moment, she’s likely headed for more of that media attention she loves, and reality TV dollars in her future.
Who lost: The world’s collective IQ.