Geico has brought us some pretty good advertisements. The Gecko and the “could 15 minutes or blahblah” guy are pretty good for the most part. But there’s a darker side to Geico’s advertisements. They also brought us…
That screaming pig, and the caveman. Neither of those are funny or enjoyable, but they keep running the damn things and coming out with more. With each one, my ragebar builds.
Due to this, I’ve created a new award: The Geico Award for excellence in inconsistency! When something/someone has the duality of amusing you greatly, and also make you sit there with your mouth open saying “Are you fucking kidding me?” – it may earn this award. Just like their commercials.
Now in your head you’re likely saying to yourself, “Captain obvious, you can’t make up this award and not hand it out. There would be no payoff!” Rest assured, we have a recipient….
They’re amazing aren’t they? Compare them to the big plastic bricks of yesteryear, and you’re suddenly counting your lucky stars. Think back a few years ago to when you were trying to send text messages using the number keys, and suddenly you realize: “oh hey, I guess it is pretty cool that I can send out several thousand texts a month, if I feel like it.” You can send pictures to people like it’s no big effin deal. It has the internet, in your hand. When some mouth-breather swears up and down that Kevin Bacon was not in footloose, you can quickly search the web and slap him in the face with it right there. “Look dude, it’s not a photoshop, here’s a video on youtube to boot.” Most smartphones are MP3 players now too. Some use them for alarm clocks. It’s amazing what they can do.
But there’s a dark side to these phones, and many of you reading this feel my pain…
You’re using the awesome GPS feature on your road trip, and at the moment of truth on a series of turns, and the whole thing reboots itself. Haven’t had it happen to you yet? Give it time…
It just casually loses reception. “But I have the derp-derp network, I’ve seen that big map of coverage, why the hell do I have 1 bar in my OWN HOUSE- and just today, right now, when I need to make a call?!” Sometimes smart phones totally drop the ball when it comes to their namesake function: being a phone.
The battery. So you’ve turned down the brightness, you’ve turned off all the cool features, and you only use it to send a few texts. A couple hours later it’s dying. You’re looking at it thinking to yourself, “I got this 4 months ago. Why is it acting like a geriatric electronic device already?!” You remember when it was new, how you gingerly put it down on a table or couch. Now you’re tossing it across rooms saying,
Without a doubt they’re something that can be a source of great joy, that also makes you pull your hair out from time to time.
In conclusion: Your smartphone is the winner of the first Geico Award for excellence in inconsistency.