Chris Hayes- professional dumb***, actually felt uncomfortable calling the troops ‘heroes’ on MSNBC during their Memorial Day coverage:

CHRIS HAYES: Thinking today and observing Memorial Day, that’ll be happening tomorrow.  Just talked with Lt. Col. Steve Burke, who was a casualty officer with the Marines and had to tell people [inaudible].  Um, I, I, ah, [Steve] Beck, sorry, um, I think it’s interesting because I think it is very difficult to talk about the war dead and the fallen without invoking valor, without invoking the words “heroes.” Um, and, ah, ah, why do I feel so comfortable [sic] about the word “hero”?  I feel comfortable, ah, uncomfortable, about the word because it seems to me that it is so rhetorically proximate to justifications for more war. Um, and, I don’t want to obviously desecrate or disrespect memory of anyone that’s fallen, and obviously there are individual circumstances in which there is genuine, tremendous heroism: hail of gunfire, rescuing fellow soldiers and things like that. But it seems to me that we marshal this word in a way that is problematic. But maybe I’m wrong about that.

(Before I begin, he did issue an apology after the pitchforks and torches appeared.) See Chris Hayes comes across as one of those bleeding heart liberal types from the MSNBC network, the left wing echo-chamber where memes and ideas like this probably seem normal before being exposed to normal Americans. I believe the network is slowly becoming a parody of itself, the news-version of Whose Line is it Anyway: “Welcome to MSNBC, the network where the stories are made up and the truth doesn’t matter!”

“We’re calling troops heroes = we want more war” is the roommate of the “If you wave a flag, oops here comes 1939 Germany!” dribble that knuckleheads espouse in a pious tone whenever someone brings up the topic of patriotism. See this “logic” reminds me of that crappy line from one of the recent Starwars prequel films… ”Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering! o.o ” deal. No, no; one does not always bring the other, and it doesn’t perfectly follow that script. Believers in those two ideas could likely build beautiful rhetorical card-houses to try to prove their point, the problem is that they’re false, the cards do not stand even in the vacuum of theory.

So, Hayes is a dips**t. Big whoop. He said something logically-challenged and then got pilloried for it.
Well, just as I was beginning to simmer down, Cenk Uygur opened his garbage chute too. For those not familiar with Cenk Uygur, he’s known to some as “The Young Turks guy”, from their Youtube channel. (Note: The name is kind of bizarre, because that’s actually the name of the group that was responsible for the Armenian Genocide. Really dude? Really?)
“Everyone attacks Chris Hayes for daring…’How dare you possibly suggest that? You have to bow your head, call everyone in the military heroes, because war is awesome, the Pentagon is the greatest, our soldiers are all heavenly.”

When it comes to massive defense spending and crushing dictators I’m all for it. For a good stretch of my life I’ve spent oodles of time on web communities with a very high number of former armed forces personnel, been on their newsletters, read books published by the men, followed their works, I’ve sent care packages, yada yada-
(Let me stat: I am no Gary Sinese, there are others who support the troops in more productive or better ways than I do, this isn’t my point!), so I could be categorized as a member of the “vast right wing conspiracy”.
Let me say this:

-We, (Those who “agree” with or support armed conflicts overseas) do not think war is “awesome”.
Further, want to know how offensive this is to military personnel and veterans in particular? This is like saying that a civil rights group likes the firebombings of a certain group’s buildings, because it lets them do stuff. Yes, it’s that offensive. I cannot tell you how pissed and shocked some of them are when that stuff comes up. See, most veterans and active duty military personnel are simple family people who return from conflicts with the goal of simply living their lives in solitude. We rarely get to hear their side, those in the media who claim to support them seem to seldom really pick up their cause or listen to what they have to say when they disagree – (on say the effectiveness of waterboarding, who should comprise their ranks, rules of engagement, etc).

-We do not think everything that happens in the Pentagon is manna from heaven. If I had a nickel for every time I’ve heard the service members I’ve been around shake their heads and vent about people shining seats with their asses in the Pentagon, or what goes on in the procurement area? I’d have quite a lot of money. Know what a “Fobbit” is? Or a “Pogue?” If you knew what those terms meant, you’d understand the fact that there’s a little bit of occasional low-level-tension even within the service branches,

-We are not blind to poor conduct by armed service members. Being in the military involves real codes of honor that journalists likely wouldn’t understand, they (“military peoplez”) of all people are most pissed off when some knucklehead takes pictures with humiliated prisoners or something like that. They don’t quite need 40 straight days of front page NYTimes coverage (Referencing Abu Gharib here) to know how to police their own units. I find it interesting how these news outlets choose to support the troops (I Mean, of course they support the troops, they tell us this all the time): By letting the actions of a handful of idiots (in the stress of a warzone, can’t forget that context), becomes a vast majority of their coverage on the war. They become the paint brush that ends up painting a bad shadow on much of a war effort.
The TV media has done this too, when it’s not stressing the death toll on a nightly basis, which it did in the lead up to the 04 election, and the 08 election. Odd how it seemed to disappear after 08 though… hmm..

Want to know what I think is alarming? When we as a nation express our gratitude and reverence to these guys, that it makes some people uncomfortable for some odd reason.
To those people, let me pass on a message from some of the service members I know, and those who respect them: “**** you if it really bothers you that much.”

This is an “oldie but goodie”.
A while back some darwin award contestant  jumped into a polar bear exhibit at a zoo. For those who did not have the Discovery Channel growing up, and those unwilling to read the post I wrote not too long ago, here’s some sparknotes on the size and destructive power of a polar bear.

Exhibit 1: This photo conclusively proves that Polar bears are absolutely enormous. See the key word in that name is “bear”.

Exhibit 2: I don’t know what kind of animal carcas that is in the bear’s mouth, but there’s a saying concerning polar bears… “What doesn’t kill them, dies horribly.”

Exhibit 3: That’s a whale.

Exhibit 4: People are fond of saying, “Omgah, polar bears are so cute and cuddly!” Yes, yes they are. They’re also world class death machines. Now look at how cute and cuddly they look with blood smeared on their face (from something they just ripped in half) and grimacing.

Now, some woman thought it would be a good idea to hop over a fence and swim with several of these things. During feeding time. No joke. I can’t even… I just can’t; I can’t.
Guess what happened? (Spoiler alert: She won nature’s lottery and survived).

It gets better. As they tried to rescue her from the enclosure? The bears wanted to keep playing.
They actually nipped her to try to keep her in the enclosure as they tried to pull this lady over the wall!

How is she still alive? Jack Hanna’s best guess:

“Maybe they already fed and wanted to bat her around some, because let me tell you something, that polar bear, in one split second she would’ve been history,” Hanna said.

This is the thing that makes the event really significant to me… There was huge outcry from people preemptively stating their opinion: that the bear should not be put down, that this woman is in fact a moron. The voices echoing this sentiment were numerous. In an age where people are increasingly becoming less and less responsible for their own dumb choices, where others are to subsidize their failures, and mobs point out scapegoats for perceived injustices they may not even have actually experienced? At least this time, reality won.

The other day a woman named Samantha Brick wrote a narcissistic diatribe column about how “hard” it is being her, because she’s allegedly very attractive. It was supposed to be an article about some of the unique challenges “pretty” women have. As someone that’s talked to a lot of attractive girls (for as long as they tolerated me anyway!) I have to say, yes, there really is enough to write an article about. Some of them could write books. Instead, this article was nothing of the sort. Many felt it was an insecure cocky person, releasing some of their “inner ugly.”  The article appears to have been scrubbed from some sites, but on the good old internet, things never truly disappear…

There’s also a video floating around of her on British Televison reiterating her points. For those too distracted by studying her looks to read some of the above, and those who want to know more, here’s some of the excerpts:
(These are excerpts from an article on gma.yahoo.com that has since disappeared)

“Going through life as a “tall, slim, blonde” woman is harder than it looks, according to British columnist Samantha Brick, who has become the focus of criticism and ridicule for writing that her life as a beautiful woman has been especially difficult.

Brick, 41, published a column in the Daily Mail on Tuesday entitled, “‘There are downsides to looking this pretty’: Why women hate me for being beautiful.”

Brick bemoaned having to go through life as a beautiful woman, constantly receiving free champagne and wine from suitors, flirting with male bosses, and angering female friends and co-workers with her looks.

“While I’m no Elle Macpherson,” Brick wrote, “I’m tall, slim, blonde and, so I’m often told, a good-looking woman. I know how lucky I am. But there are downsides to being pretty, the main one being that other women hate me for no other reason than my lovely looks.”

By Wednesday morning, Brick had become the center of a Twitter campaign aiming to take her down a few notches for her perceived vanity. Twitter users created the tongue-in-cheek hashtag #samanthabrickfacts to make jokes about Brick’s alleged beauty.

“James Blunt wrote “You’re beautiful” after he briefly caught sight of Samantha Brick in a crowded place. #samanthabrickfacts,” Tony Cowards wrote on the site.

“Samantha Brick was originally cast in title role in Pretty Woman but Richard Gere vetoed it because she was too pretty,” a user named Susan Cullen said Wednesday. ”

 

The outcry has been enormous, from men and women alike. I apologize Miss Brick, but while you’re not the elephant woman, the internet has cast its vote.

Jeeze.

I didn’t anticipate having the second entry in this section go up so quickly, but the stork forced my hand.

What can be said about Snooki that hasn’t already been said? Anyone with a partially functional brain can find something about her to make fun of.
Even in recent memory, I remember those headlines about her being 98lbs and sitting there saying to myself: What the hell was her thought process there?
“So after spending some time thinking about my life, I’ve come to a few realizations. I come across like an idiot, I know shit about shit, I embarrass myself every time I open my mouth in public, and I have a sizable list of bad habits. Know what? I am not concerned enough about my appearance.
Why don’t I go on a diet for no reason at all? Say, I might even get more media attention! Clearly that’s something I need more of in my life to become a more well rounded person!” I’m sure it made sense to her though.

Truth be told we should probably be happy for her- if one of her life goals was indeed becoming a mother, she has it now. If not, accidents happen to people, smart or dumb. Worthy of mention is the fact that she managed to make it out of her teen years without having gotten to this milestone. If she really is as dopey as she appears on TV (Which I concede, could very well be an act she’s putting on), it’s practically a miracle that she’s made it out of the teens without being on that Teen Mom show.

In her future: Apparently 50% of relationships end up in divorce these days, so she has a 50/50 chance of a tell all book and renewed relevance in the media a few years down the line. Given the fact that the guy she’s dating is by some’s account- a wacko? Those odds may be better than 50-50.
If a divorce happens, she probably has a “reality” dating show in her future too. Can you picture it? MTV and VH1 executives already seeing dollar signs and  duking it out over rights to the show.
Let me trademark the name now. “Jersey Love”.  Watch as they rehash the old jersey shore times by having dating shows for all of them, one by one.
(Knowing me, they’ve probably had one for a jersey shore person already, and due to my disconnect from most of pop culture I didn’t know about it.)

Whether her marriage works or not, she may have a few seasons of “Jersey Mom” lined up. Again, cameos from the other characters. Maybe with that Kate Goselin lady off TV, Snooki can fill the void for those  inclined to occupy their time with shows like that?

Imagine we were her classmates or her friends: Would we be happy for Snooki? Probably. Barring tragedy she’ll likely be a mother now. This likely sets her up to be making money again, regardless of how the marriage goes. As of this moment, she’s likely headed for more of that media attention she loves, and reality TV dollars in her future.

Who lost:  The world’s collective IQ.

I don’t follow pop culture that much really, but it’s come to my attention that Chris Brown was at the Grammys the other day. Chris Brown is the guy that is universally panned for having beat up Rhianna. (Who for some reason took him back apparently? )
Some are pissed because they feel, and understandably so, that he should not have even been invited into the building that night. But some mouth breathers went above and beyond the call of stupidity. They went past the line of  ”Forgetting your hat on your head” right into “I only put my hands on a moving chainsaw blade because there was no warning label on it!”  land. They posted on twitter with things that practically legitimized/downplayed spousal abuse.

You can check out the list here.

You’re crazy. Not good crazy either.

Flawless, except for the parts where he beats women, and is an egotistical douche bag. Except for those parts.
Hey, um, remember this guy?

The bad guy from Titanic?
We hated this guy specifically for those two reasons for shit’s sake!

That hashtag is like a license plate with your IQ on it.
Slow down, pull on to  life’s shoulder, and start replacing parts. Your car is busted and it’s shooting sparks everywhere, and it’s leaving parts all over the freeway of life.

Sometimes smart people do dumb things, it happens. But there are certain things that once uttered make you think, “The fact that it even entered your mind is troublesome.” After reading those things, I couldn’t help but try to wrap my head around their thought process. I was picturing what they would be like in real life. $10 says these are the kind of people who claim to be smart. “I’m a smart person, and I’m nice, etc. I’m not book smart, I’m street smart. But I get good grades!” And all that other herp-derp morons spew as if those metrics undo the fact that their decision making process is atrocious. I have a very simple way of referring to “Smart” people like that. It’s: “Not smart.” Fancy. I sure hope I’m wrong about that, that these are normal girls who just made a stupid “joke” that wasn’t funny. I also hope that after the weight of the internet fell on them, that they got the picture.

Now for those of you who thought, “ugh, some people are so stupid, I’m glad the stupidity ended with them, ” you were wrong. So you would think that Chris Brown would be happy about being accepted back into the community right? He’d be thankful, somewhat apologetic? Do the Bill Clinton tear rolling down one eye speech?
Take a guess, multiple choice test time…

a) In a heartfelt apology, he asks for forgiveness, and mentioned it was a stupid thing for him to do. He’s thankful to be back. Maybe cried a little bit.
b) Responded on twitter with an egotistical rant in which he states the legitimitate criticism of his dispicable act must be due to jealousy.
c) Anything other than choice b), as it is the only incorrect response. 

If you answered b), here’s what you won.

Hate all I want you say?

Apparently being a successful singer didn’t teach him anything about being a decent fucking human being, nor did give him a shred of humility. Millions of men are more successful than Chris Brown at this one metric: NOT being a spouse-beating prick. In the electoral-man-points system of life? Chris, you’re at the fucking bottom. I don’t care how many awards you’re given, how many records you sell, you’re an egomanical woman beating prick with no shame. Let me assure you, your detractors don’t envy you, and you’re not even worthy of pity. You’re a pop singer and a fucking moron with no self control or humility. You are a wart on the ass of society, as are those who think what you did was cute.